12 Books to Help Children with Death, Grief, and Loss

It can be difficult as a parent to support our kids when a loss happens. So, how can we help our children understand and cope with the strong emotions that arise with death, grief, and loss?

Helping Children with the Death of a Pet

I thought we had more time.

I knew this day would come… Some Day.

But, we still had years together…right? Years, before we had to say goodbye.

I mean, when a piece of your family’s heart walks around on four legs, you imagine that your time together is infinite.

Unfortunately, pets don’t live forever.

She hadn’t been walking around very well for more than 6 months. Arthritis had taken its toll on her joints. Her vision had been taken by cataracts, and her body was riddled with tumors that kept coming back.

All of the stress and worry I had for most of our spring and summer still didn’t prepare me for the gut-wrenching heartache and grief that assaulted my little people and myself when THE DAY arrived.

That day. It was the hardest thing I’d ever done.

But we have found comfort in our happy memories of her.

She was there during some of my hardest personal struggles. She was there when my son was learning to walk, talk, and read. I often found them reading together in a secluded nook of the house.

You were never alone with her. She knew when someone needed comfort and a little extra love. I like to think it was because she was a rescue.

The kiddos and I find joy in sharing our memories of her. 

There are still tears.

This happened several months ago. But, I’m only just now able to write about it. I actually have to keep taking little breaks while writing this to process my heartache.

The loss is hard.

I am sure that after 10 years of her being in our lives, we will grieve for a long time to come. But that is a natural part of the healing process.

I am grateful for the pain I feel. It lets me know how wonderful and true she was. And…how much we loved her.

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When Your Child is Grieving

I’m an adult, and I’ve had lots of practice grieving over the years. My children, however, have not. There were some mighty big emotions in the weeks to follow.

My kids are sad, folks. It’s been a rollercoaster of emotions all summer. Some days are better than others, and there are lots of extra hugs going around.

One way we are processing our loss is by creating a photo album of our beloved poodle. The kids asked for this so that they can always look back and remember her.

We have found the following books to also be a comfort and a treasure for our family as we grieve the loss of our 4 legged family member. Perhaps your family will find comfort in them as well.

*Remember, you know your kids best, so please pre-read these books to make sure they are appropriate for your family*

12 Children’s Books to Help Children Understand Death, Grief, and Loss

Lifetimes: The Beautiful Way to Explain Death to Children by Bryan Mellonie – a beautifully moving book for children of all ages, even parents too. It lets us explain life and death in a sensitive, caring, beautiful way. Lifetimes tells us about beginnings. And about endings. And about living in between. With large, wonderful illustrations, it tells about plants, animals, and people. It tells that dying is as much a part of living as being born. This book helps us to remember. It helps us to understand.

Recommended for grades Kindergarten-3rd

When A Pet Dies by Fred Rogers – I just love Mister Rogers! He had the loveliest way of making the world seem a little less harsh. In this book, he helps children share feelings of the loss of a pet while offering reassurance that grieving is a natural, healing thing to do.

Recommended for grades Pre-school-3rd

12 Books to Help Children with Death, Grief, and Loss

The Rainbow Bridge: A Visit to Pet Paradise by Adrian Raeside –  I’m not going to lie it was a little hard to get through this book because it is very honest and sad. It basically described the situation of how we lost our beloved poodle.

Rick and his beloved dog Koko are inseparable.  They are the best of friends! But their relationship changes as Koko grows old and his health declines.

With Koko’s passing, Rick is devastated. But then one night, he is woken by a dog and ferried across the rainbow bridge to a magical paradise for pets where Rick is reunited with Koko!

Recommended for grades 1-4

I’ll Always Love You by Hans Wilhelm –  This book tells the importance of saying “I love you” or “I’ll always love you” every night. When a boy’s dog has grown old and died during the night, the boy says: “I was very sad, too, but it helped to remember that I had told her every night, ‘I’ll always love you.’” 

Recommended for grades Pre-school-2nd

12 Books to Help Children with Death, Grief, and Loss

Dog Heaven by Cynthia Rylant – This book comforts readers young and old who have lost a dog,  as she did for cats in the bestselling companion book, CAT HEAVEN. Recommended highly by pet lovers around the world, DOG HEAVEN not only comforts but also brings a tear to anyone who is devoted to a pet. From expansive fields where dogs can run and run to delicious biscuits no dog can resist, Rylant paints a warm and affectionate picture of the ideal place God would, of course, create for man’s best friend.

Recommended for grades Pre-school-3rd

Saying Goodbye to Lulu by Corinne Demaspic – This story about a girl and her dog. They are the best of friends. But eventually, the girl’s dog grows older and dies. The little girl has a hard time dealing with the passing of her 4 legged friend. Over time the little girl discovers that the sweet memory of her beloved dog will live on forever in her heart.

Recommended for grades Pre-school-3rd

The Day Tiger Rose Said Goodbye by Jane Yolen – This is a peaceful book that helps children cope with the loss of a pet, and how sometimes they want to die alone. Tiger Rose has grown old and tired. She is ready to say goodbye to all the creatures and joys of her life. I love that at the end of the book, Tiger Rose takes one last leap into the blue sky and becomes one with it all.

Recommended for grades Pre-school-3rd

12 Books to Help Children with Death, Grief, and Loss

The Tenth Good Thing About Barney by Judith Viorst – A little boy’s beloved cat has died. The family decides to have a funeral for him and the little boy wants to come up with ten good things about Barney the cat. But he can only think of 9….

Recommended for grades 1st-5th

The Fall of Freddie the Leaf: A Story of Life for All Ages by Leo Buscaglia – This lovely story follows Freddie the leaf throughout his life cycle. It’s a wonderful book that explains the cycle of life, and death.

Recommended for grades Pre-school-3rd

12 Books to Help Children with Death, Grief, and Loss

Water Bugs and Dragonflies: Explaining Death to Young Children, A Coloring Book by Doris Stickney – This is a coloring book folks! It’s a coloring book that tells the story of a waterbug that completes her metamorphosis into a dragonfly and leaves the pond. But that starts a conversation with the other water bugs about where she went when she transformed.

Recommended for grades Pre-school-3rd

The Invisible String by Patrice Karst – A book, not about loss, but about love and connections and how we are never really alone.

Recommended for grades 1-2

Always Remember by Cece Meng – Without mentioning a deity or religion this book gently helps children with the loss of a friend. The old sea turtle has passed away and is has been carried away by the waves. His friends remember him and how their lives were made better because of his kindness to them.

Recommended for grades Pre-school-3rd

More Books to Help Children Process Grief

Chester Raccoon and the Acorn Full of Memories by Audrey Penn – Chester Raccoon’s good friend Skiddel Squirrel has had an accident and will not be returning – ever. Chester is upset that he won’t get to play with his friend anymore. Mrs. Raccoon suggests that Chester and his friends create some memories of Skiddel, so that they will have good memories when they miss him. Chester, his brother Ronny, and their friends decide to gather at the pond, where they combine their memories and create a touching celebration of their friend’s life.

Recommended for grades Kindergarten-3rd

Ida, Always by Caron Levis – Inspired by two ­real-life polar bears, Gus and Ida, who were residents of New York City’s Central Park Zoo. This is a beautiful story about the loss of a loved one. A touching book about friendship and love.

Recommended for grades Pre-school-3rd

My Yellow Balloon by Tiffany Papageorge –  A little boy falls in love with his yellow balloon. But one day he loses the balloon. Grief-stricken and heartbroken the boy breaks down. Eventually, the skies clear and the boy learns to smile again.

Recommended for grades Pre-school-3rd

Rudi’s Pond by Eve Bunting – Based on a true story of friendship. The narrator’s friend, Rudi, gets sick and dies.  Grieving the narrator and her classmates build a pond in memory of Rudi. These grieving steps are so important in the healing process and sets a good example of things that can be done when someone dies.

Recommended for grades Pre-school-3rd

How do you help your child process death, grief, and loss?

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