My double mastectomy was scheduled for Wednesday morning. How did I end up here? I was hoping the MRI results would show the lump was contained and we could proceed with a lumpectomy. That wasn’t exactly the case.
I was diagnosed with cancer on July 13th.
The cancer appeared contained from what we could see, BUT there was far more of it than we would have guessed.
8.5 cm X 4.1 cm to be exact. The breast had to go. There was no saving it.
How did I go from a clear mammogram last year to such a large mass this year? We have no answers.
It’s scary.
So because I know myself, how quickly this cancer has grown, and my anxiety, I’m opting for the surgeon to take the other breast too.
Mom’s Cancer Diagnosis and Double Mastectomy
I had my double mastectomy on July 27th. Just 8 weeks after I discovered that suspicious lump. I thought the surgery was going to be tough, But in hindsight, it was the recovery and not the surgery that was hard. After all, I was asleep for the surgery.
The recovery, however, has been painful both physically and emotionally.
Limited range of motion and not being able to shower for the first week was just the beginning. Removing the two drains was awful! I have exercises that I must do daily in order to regain my range of motion.
But peeling off the bandages and seeing what lay beneath was one of the hardest days. Forty staples from armpit to armpit were a shocking site to see. I felt like one of Frankensteins’ experiments. It is a testament to modern medicine that my surgeon was able to perform this surgery but the angry red line across my chest also showed its limitations.
I cried, folks. My husband held me while I cried. And yet I was so grateful at the same time.
This journey has run the gambit of emotions. Many times those emotions don’t seem to make sense. I’m grieving what I’ve lost. I’ve given my two pounds of flesh so to speak but will it be enough?
Mom’s Cancer Diagnosis and Double Mastectomy
I’m thrilled to report that yes, indeed, it was enough. I went to see the oncologist and she said my double mastectomy surgery was a success! I am cancer free!
Let’s just sit with those words for a moment. I AM CANCER FREE!
Everything moving forward will be for preventative measures to keep the cancer from coming back.
The oncologist has ordered a test that helps determine the likelihood of the cancer returning. On a scale of 0-100 if my test comes back 20 or less then no chemotherapy will be needed. But, if my number comes back greater than 20 then we have to have serious discussions about chemo and I’d probably be looking at 5 months’ worth.
Guess what? My Oncotype score came back 13! That means no chemo!!!
Also, the radiologist didn’t feel that radiation was needed since I had a double mastectomy with clear margins and clear lymph nodes.
But, because my own hormones grew my cancer I am looking at daily pills that block my hormones. This will continue for the next 5-10 years and will put me into early menopause. This will be my new normal.
How You Can Help
My plea to you is this. Please do regular self-breast exams. That’s how I found my cancer. Please go get your yearly mammogram. Go get that suspicious lump checked out. Don’t think that you are too young or that it can’t happen to you. I am only 42 and had no risk factors. Please hear my plea. It just might save your life.
And please continue to pray for me as I heal mentally and physically from this process.
You may enjoy these other posts about my struggles with anxiety and depression:
I can’t imagine what you are feeling. So many mixed emotions. I had a left Brest lumpectomy. I had no sibling support and had just been there for my baby sister with her battling uterus cancer. She said she was going to be there for me but decided to have a party for her daughter. So it was me and husband and son. But even after I got home no one came to just ask me how I was doing. But through the grace of God I made it. But the anxiety and fears took over for a while. I’m thankful for the two people I had. I’m praying for you and I’m here for you.
Gail H.
Oh, bless your heart! I am so sorry you had such limited support! I wish I could reach through the computer and hug your neck. I hope you continue to do well and I’m praying for you too.
I hear you, and empathize with you. I, too, was diagnosed with breast cancer in one breast 1. Year ago this week. Due to my own family history with cancers , I also opted for double masectomy. My tumor was 10cm and luckily DCIS that was caught earlier enough to not need chemo , radiation or hormone treatments. The doctors feel I had very small chance for cancer to reoccur in the same area. (Less than 5%).
I was lucky enough to live close enough to a plastic surgeon that could do tissue based reconstruction using the DIEP method. This procedure used my own abdomen tissue.
If you choose to use the tissue based method vs the silicone or saline method, you should carefully research your options.
I won’t lie, it hasn’t been all easy, my recovery is still on going and is taking alot longer than the two weeks mentioned. I will continue to have days where I’m totally exhausted even 8 months later. My second surgery will be in one month to take care of any revisions needed.
There were four drains, and the last one was in 11 weeks before being removed. I remain under watch with a hematologist/oncologist for 5 to 7 years, which will entail testing to see if cancer returns in other areas.
My breast scars are fading, and the abdomen scar does goes from hip to hip.
I have more good days than painful ones now, I am learning to take one day at a time and to slow down, which isn’t easy for me as I am a tad OCD when it comes to work.;)
Oh gosh, I am so sorry for all that you’ve been through. Thank you for sharing your story. I haven’t decided if I want reconstruction or not. It all still seems so overwhelming. I pray that you continue to heal and have those good days.
Praying for you as you recover and move ahead.
Thank you. I greatly appreciate it!
You are in my prayers. Stay strong.
Thank you so very much!